On disasterous love in HP: When Dumbledore lets himself to love Harry it mostly ends badly. When he supresses his love it mostly ends well. When Aberforth watches Harry through the mirror (supressed love) he can send Dobby to save him, when they talk face to face Aberforth advises Harry to run away, which would have failed his mission. I don't see consistency with a love over power message. I see a message of needing to control love.