ext_70050 ([identity profile] sylvanawood.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] mary_j_59 2010-08-02 12:45 pm (UTC)

I'm completely ignorant of how these things work, but I think the third paragraph is too much. The first two grip me and I want to read, the third I want to figure out myself. It takes a bit of the tension away if I know in the beginning that he'll survive, unless this is told as a flashback? Or the main story is his the time after the rescue?

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