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http://arkan2.livejournal.com/ (
arkan2.livejournal.com
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mary_j_59
2010-08-05 03:00 pm (UTC)
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All his life, Kiril Tesurik, sixteen,
This reads like the opening paragraph of a biographical newspaper article, particularly the way you insert his age in there. Still, I'm quibbling now, and the only other issues I have with the query are also quibbles.
Good luck!
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no subject
This reads like the opening paragraph of a biographical newspaper article, particularly the way you insert his age in there. Still, I'm quibbling now, and the only other issues I have with the query are also quibbles.
Good luck!