I think this is really sharp now! There's just one thing I'm still wondering about: 3rd sentence, 3rd paragraph, "their elders." Since all of the rest of the query is (now) just about Kiril, should it be "his elders?"
It's not a big problem, because the plural does imply that the lives of both Kiril and his little brother are governed -- and protected -- by the same laws. "They" are now the two boys. Maybe this is really good? In other ways the sentence is interesting -- it implies that Kiril's society puts some strictures -- maybe illogical ones -- on both his rights and his responsibilities. He "would" be the head of his family, but maybe he isn't yet, or he would be able to bring his case before the court himself.
The implications are really interesting -- but you could avoid them, and still move the story along, if you rephrased just a little.
Maybe something like: There is no solid proof, nothing he could bring before a court of law, but Kiril knows....etc.
(I couldn't -- at first -- figure out why that particular sentence bothered me, but I think I've got it, now ;-D)
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I think this is really sharp now! There's just one thing I'm still wondering about: 3rd sentence, 3rd paragraph, "their elders." Since all of the rest of the query is (now) just about Kiril, should it be "his elders?"
It's not a big problem, because the plural does imply that the lives of both Kiril and his little brother are governed -- and protected -- by the same laws. "They" are now the two boys. Maybe this is really good? In other ways the sentence is interesting -- it implies that Kiril's society puts some strictures -- maybe illogical ones -- on both his rights and his responsibilities. He "would" be the head of his family, but maybe he isn't yet, or he would be able to bring his case before the court himself.
The implications are really interesting -- but you could avoid them, and still move the story along, if you rephrased just a little.
Maybe something like: There is no solid proof, nothing he could bring before a court of law, but Kiril knows....etc.
(I couldn't -- at first -- figure out why that particular sentence bothered me, but I think I've got it, now ;-D)
In any event, it's an EXTREMELY minor quibble.