The Battle of the Five Armies: or, Wrong Universe, Dude!

I have not been able to find any sporking of the third "Hobbit" film, so here is my effort. As you'll know from my earlier review, I love Fili and Kili, so this movie made me sad. The book does, also, but in a good way. The movie was a mixed bag, IMHO. Comments are welcome! Here goes—


The Battle of the Five Armies
(or, Wrong UNIVERSE, dude!)

As told by Fili, Kili (in part from the Halls of Mandos in Valinor), Biblo, and sundry other characters.

When we left our heroes, they had sorely provoked a huge dragon.

Smaug: I am sorely provoked. But forget those miserable dwarves and their rabbit-creature. I can take care of them later. I burn to have revenge on Laketown!

Bilbo: I’m horribly afraid Laketown will burn, as well.( Read more... )