Much improved! Thought, thinking like an agent (i.e. with a view to how the book might sell to both a publisher and to bookstores) I still kind of want to know why it's SF and not fantasy, when fantasy is a much easier sell and it's hard to see anything in the query* that requires the book to be SF.
In all honesty, it really SOUNDS like a secondary-world fantasy to me with the mention of Lords and honor and so on, and all the mock covers you've shown (Kiril with a sword) also scream fantasy rather than SF. I'm assuming you made the genre choice you did for a good reason, but if so, I think the agent will need a bit more evidence that the SF elements are crucial to the book.
Essentially, though, I do think it's a fine solid query!
-- * I mean, yes, you mention robots, but explosives aren't exclusive to SF, and in theory you could just have the evil Lord decide that kids are the best way to take explosives down tunnels without even bringing robots in as an option.
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Date: 2010-08-02 12:01 pm (UTC)In all honesty, it really SOUNDS like a secondary-world fantasy to me with the mention of Lords and honor and so on, and all the mock covers you've shown (Kiril with a sword) also scream fantasy rather than SF. I'm assuming you made the genre choice you did for a good reason, but if so, I think the agent will need a bit more evidence that the SF elements are crucial to the book.
Essentially, though, I do think it's a fine solid query!
--
* I mean, yes, you mention robots, but explosives aren't exclusive to SF, and in theory you could just have the evil Lord decide that kids are the best way to take explosives down tunnels without even bringing robots in as an option.