Thanks again, RJ, and I do hope you're feeling better. You've spent so much time and energy helping me with this; I want to emphasize how much I appreciate it.
Your last question threw me for a bit, because the type of heroism Kiril has to learn about, and display, is, in a way, the entire point of the book. I don't think there is any way I can tell more about it without spoiling the story. So it might be better to remove the hint of a threat to Kennet and Niki. Really, the only threat is that Niki might subvert Kiril's plans for her and go haring off home! (Hey, maybe that should be the sequel!) I'm thinking I might say something like, "Kiril hadn't planned to survive. To go on living as a nameless creature, a ghost among the aliens, will require a type of heroism.."
Do you think that might work? If so, I will change it. And someone on agent query connect pointed out that I might be better off starting with, "All his life, sixteen-year-old Kiril Tesurik..."
Thanks very much again! I have started some minor revisions (so far, luckily, my readers aren't calling for anything major), and hope to be in a position to start contacting agents by the end of the month.
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Date: 2010-08-05 07:42 pm (UTC)Your last question threw me for a bit, because the type of heroism Kiril has to learn about, and display, is, in a way, the entire point of the book. I don't think there is any way I can tell more about it without spoiling the story. So it might be better to remove the hint of a threat to Kennet and Niki. Really, the only threat is that Niki might subvert Kiril's plans for her and go haring off home! (Hey, maybe that should be the sequel!) I'm thinking I might say something like, "Kiril hadn't planned to survive. To go on living as a nameless creature, a ghost among the aliens, will require a type of heroism.."
Do you think that might work? If so, I will change it. And someone on agent query connect pointed out that I might be better off starting with, "All his life, sixteen-year-old Kiril Tesurik..."
Thanks very much again! I have started some minor revisions (so far, luckily, my readers aren't calling for anything major), and hope to be in a position to start contacting agents by the end of the month.