So the sword (as the symbol, or concrete manifestation, of their/their family's honor) would have to be added to the list of what these children are formally renouncing.
So that their actions cannot tarnish it. If deemed to be dishonorable. Any more than their relatives, or their servants, can be held responsible for any crimes they might commit.
To make this work, you might have to name the thing, and invest the sword itself with a more formal prssence than you have. And make it clear, not just that bearing A sword (and the right/duty to duel to the death) is the treasured privilege of the nobility, but that each noble house has a specific, heirloom, sword.
I'm not sure, Terri. (This is Terri, isn't it?) Of course the sword was named during the renunciation - EVERYTHING was! - but I don't really think I need to make its role as a symbol of freedom clear at this stage of the game. In fact, I don't think I want to do anything as heavy-handed as giving the sword a name! (After all, it's not Excalibur or Anduril, nor is Kiril Aragorn or Arthur. He's just a young freeman, a sprig of minor nobility, whose ancestor was a servant and whose stepmother is a slave.)To me, your title works because it is as true to the young MC and his goals and character as "honor" is, and because it is more intriguing. I think a reader, coming across such a title, would be curious about what it promised. And that's why it's a better title than "honor", even though for me it works essentially as a rephrasing. The story is all about the last sentences of the legend. Both your title and my original one get at that, but yours is a lot more evocative.
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Re: Titles
Date: 2014-03-14 05:34 am (UTC)... this story starts with the renunciation.
So the sword (as the symbol, or concrete manifestation, of their/their family's honor) would have to be added to the list of what these children are formally renouncing.
So that their actions cannot tarnish it. If deemed to be dishonorable. Any more than their relatives, or their servants, can be held responsible for any crimes they might commit.
To make this work, you might have to name the thing, and invest the sword itself with a more formal prssence than you have. And make it clear, not just that bearing A sword (and the right/duty to duel to the death) is the treasured privilege of the nobility, but that each noble house has a specific, heirloom, sword.
Re: Titles
Date: 2014-03-14 02:38 pm (UTC)So thanks again! I really love it!