Why didn't it happen this way? (a missing scene from HP)

[mary_j_59]

I've said over on Snapedom that, if Lily was the be-all and end-all for young Sev, she should have been the be-all and end-all. So why couldn't he have joined the Death Eaters specifically to protect her? I do know the answer to that, of course: we couldn't have a scene that might make him more sympathetic. But why did Rowling also have to diminish James and Lily? Consider Voldemort's attack:

James hears something at the door and yells to his wife: "Lily, take Harry and run! I'll hold him off!" He picks up his wand and runs to the door, shouting, "Expelliarmus! Stupefy!" Spells ricochet off the walls of the small house, and eventually the young man falls. Voldemort steps over his body and strides up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, he meets Lily.

Voldemort: "Put the brat down and stand aside, girl."
Lily: (Turning so that she shelters Harry with her body and backing away) "No! Not Harry! Please, not Harry! I'll do anything-"
voldemort: "Stand aside, or you will die."
Lily: (She turns slightly toward Voldemort, still sheltering Harry in her arms). "If I join you, will you let Harry live?"
Voldemort: "You will join the Death Eaters?"
Lily: "Yes, I will, if you only let Harry live! I'll brew for you. I'll teach Harry to honor you (gulps as she says this, gasps, and goes on), I'll do anything you ask. Only let Harry live!"
Voldemort: (smiles cruelly) Very well, girl. I accept. Now set the child down.
Lily: "You promise? You will let him live?"
Voldemort: "I promise. Now set him down."
Lily: (looks doubtful, but carries Harry back into the bedroom and sets him in his crib.)
Voldemort: "Now stand aside, girl"
Lily: (steps to one side, her eyes wide and fearful)
Voldemort: (draws his wand and aims at Harry, beginning to pronounce) Avada-
Lily: (shrieks and darts in front of Voldemort's wand) No! Not Harry! You promised! (the beam of light hits her and she dies.)
Voldemort: "Foolish girl!" (he steps forward and aims at Harry again, saying, "Avada Kedavra". The curse rebounds and destroys him. His last feeling is fury that he could have been outwitted by a Muggleborn girl and her half-blood lover, who'd urged her usefulness and probably arranged the trap with her.)

Why couldn't have Rowling done it this way? Why couldn't she have shown Lily and James to have some smarts and competence? Just my two cents, as always.

Comments

I like it!

[deirdrea.wordpress.com (from livejournal.com)]

...even though Lily just leaps at the chance to join the Death Eaters, doesn't she?

But yeah, I never understood that bit in the "real" book about James running around without his wand. Especially when, on the other hand, Tonks can leap up from giving birth, grasp her wand in her hand and rush out to die!

Oh, well.....

Get over that flu! Don't keep writing missing scenes! Sleep!!!

G'night.
~D.

Re: I like it!

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

And what are you doing up at 1 in the morning? We both have to be fit for the New Moon party! (Don't tell me you were working on it! Eek1 I'm not helping!)

I love your comment about Tonks.

[elanor-x.livejournal.com]

But then wouldn't some people be liable to think Lily broke and really meant to fulfill the promise, if V agreed? If he agreed, what would have happened in your story?

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Obviously, as Sionna says below, he wouldn't agree. He had already agreed with young Severus to spare Lily, and I'm quite sure the boy made a pitch about the girl's potential usefulness. But there was no way, of course, that he would have spared Harry. The point is - why wouldn't Lily even try to manipulate Voldemort? Why wouldn't she lie to him for Harry's sake? As it is, I am left with more respect for Narcissa Malfoy (who lies to the Dark Lord for her son's sake) than for Lily Potter, our putative heroine (who does nothing but flail frantically, even though I think that line "I'll do anything" is actually canon.)

Don't get me wrong - I'd be flailing frantically, too, but I am no quick-witted, near-Slytherin (according to Slughorn) heroine. And wouldn't a mother lie, steal, manipulate - do anything to save her helpless baby?

Some people probably would think less of her for trying to bargain, but I think it would make her more heroic, not less.

[sionna-raven.livejournal.com]

I think the scene with James could, perhaps should, have happened as you describe it and there's really no reason at all, why it hasn't.
With Lily it's different. It is crucial for the ancient magic to be triggered that his offer is genuine. "Do what I want and I'll do what I promised"
In the book Voldemort means to keep his part of the bargain i.e. Lily steps aside and lets him kill Harry and she will live. Deal!
In your version he's lying; he has not intention to let Harry live, if Lily joins him. The bargain is about Harry's life not Lily's, so she isn't given a choice for real. The ancient protection doesn't seem to work like that.
That doesn't mean that the scene couldn't have been written to make Lily more competent. I wish it had been.

You know that I am also convinced that the assumed abillity to get into a position to protect Lily is IMO the only motivation for Severus to join the DEs which can be found in the books. All other possible explanations are so weakly based on canon that they simply don't work for me. With this theory it is at least possible to get a couple of oddities and time line problems in the books to make some sense.

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Hi, Sionna! My version doesn't negate the bargain Voldemort already made with Severus. It's in addition to it, not instead of it. I just think there is no way on earth Lily would step aside (thus triggering the original bargain) unless she got some kind of assurance about Harry's life from Voldemort. Yes, he'd be lying, and so would she. But doesn't this seem more believable than what we got? Or can you believe, as a mom, that any mother would let this monster get a clear shot at her child?

The original scene just makes Lily look like a panicked girl - not a particularly clever or powerful witch. I end up admiring Narcissa Malfoy more than her. Seriously!

I'd love to see your complete reasoning about Severus and his reasons for joining the DEs. Of course, I think you're right! But, again, Rowling was working to diminish his character, and ended up diminishing her story as a result.

[seductivedark.livejournal.com]

If Voldemort made a bargain with Lily (to spare Harry) and reneges on it, that could trigger a different ancient magic (lying under oath or something). Problem is, that would put Severus out of the picture - no need, story-wise, for him to bargain to save Lily if she's the one making bargains on Harry's life.

If Voldemort offers Lily the chance to join him (lying, of course) and she refuses, it would give Voldemort the excuse of being angry that he was refused so it isn't so odd that Mr. Magical-All-That breaks a magical vow, it would protect Severus's cover, it would have Lily being true to her convictions, and it would still result in the rebounding AK.

But that would suppose an intelligent Voldemort.

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

If Voldemort made a bargain with Lily (to spare Harry) and reneges on it, that could trigger a different ancient magic (lying under oath or something). Problem is, that would put Severus out of the picture - no need, story-wise, for him to bargain to save Lily if she's the one making bargains on Harry's life.

I don't agree. I think you still need Severus in the picture to (1) suggest the bargain in the first place, and (2) beg for Lily's life to the extent that Voldemort even lets her talk. Otherwise, why wouldn't he just kill her in the first place, without letting her open her mouth? Notice that, in my "missing scene", the first thing Voldemort does is to ask Lily to stand aside. The thing that puzzles me about the scene as Rowling wrote it is that she apparently does! Why? This rewrite attempts to answer that question.

[seductivedark.livejournal.com]

Ah. Okay, missed the asking to step aside first thing.

[jongibbs.livejournal.com]

They're still great stories though :)

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Well - that's a matter of opinion, of course! I didn't much like HBP, and have never been so disappointed in a book in my life as I was in DH. However, I would agree that Rowling is immensely talented. I just don't think she bothered to really look at her work to see what she had said. She famously doesn't rewrite, and it shows.

missing all right

[terri-testing.livejournal.com]

How easy it would have been to have given James and Lily a heroic moment each, as you show.

Sigh.

I suppose we couldn't have Lily be Slytherin even for a moment, but she could have been competent....

Like yours better, for what it's worth.

Re: missing all right

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Yes - we've talked about this before, and you also wrote some "missing scenes". It would have been very easy for Rowling to build up her characters, rather than diminishing them. But, for whatever reason, she chose to diminish them all. It's good she basically ignored Neville, who does indeed rock!

[oryx_leucoryx]

Why didn't Lily have a wand on her? Because Rowling needed to keep Lily from escaping with Harry. I mean, even if DH demonstrates that one can't Apparate in and out of a Fidelius-protected place, with a wand she could have turned the first object she saw into a Portkey for both of them, instead of wasting time on piling furniture behind the door.

I like Jodel's reading (well, one of them), that by saying 'take me instead' Lily made a magical contract with Voldemort which he accepted when he killed her, and then broke when he attacked Harry. But Rowling's Lily wasn't supposed to have known what she was doing. Bah! Since Rowling's explanation is ex-canon I'm willing to go with Jodel's.

But no reading can redeem James.

You know, I was in Israel during the Gulf War (of 1991). I was living in dorms at my graduate school. For 2 months I carried a gas mask with me wherever I went, I always knew where the nearest 'sealable room' was, one night I even made it from the shower in my dorm to the 'sealable room' which was in the next building in time before the door was taped shut. While the Potters had to keep their alert for much longer, a wand is much easier to keep on one's person at all times than it is to keep a gas mask at the ready.

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly - and that's certainly an interesting and pertinent example. But I can think of so many others - parents from all cultures, all over the world, have done extraordinary things for their children. However, I do have to say that in any contest of reason and common sense, Muggles would always win over Rowling's Wizards hands-down.

Rowling needed Lily to sacrifice herself and die, and she needed her sacrifice to protect Harry. I understand that. I do not understand why she had to make the poor girl look a fool in the process. As it is, I have more sympathy with both Narcissa Malfoy and that Muggle mother from Germany than I do with Lily. That cannot be what Rowling intended, can it?

[oryx_leucoryx]

When she forces characters into situations where they can do nothing but make grand gestures when the characters could have avoided it with a little common sense their grand gestures don't come across that well.